My Place Bar & Restaurant

It is not often that I have breakfast at breakfast time.

It is not even often that I have lunch at lunch time.

It is VERY often that I have my breakfast at an afternoon tea sort of time.

And so if by rare chance that I am up in the early morning, albeit bleary eyed and zombie looking, I will crawl to a cheery breakfast serving institution to make the rest of the day a bit more bearable.

But on a cool Autumn Saturday, the weekend has not even begun for the majority of people still snoring away in bed. The lack of patrons at My Place certainly did not make it a cosy nor cheery breakfast serving institution on a cheery Saturday morning.

From initial thoughts, I'd much rather my own place called home rather than My Place in the Perth CBD right now.

Breakfast Buffet

The place, on top of visibly looking empty, feels very empty with its dull atmosphere, minimal decor and missing the usual buzzing activity that comes with good breakfasts that kick off a good weekend. This was quite a lonely breakfast, with one other lonely table which made our lone table relatively less lonely.

But still. Lonely.

And while the words "buffet breakfast" is just enough to make me bounce stumble out of bed, their offering of a buffet breakfast was honestly unappetising, sad and disappointing, said in the nicest possible way with a nicest possible face. I wish I was still snoring back in bed.

Breakfast Buffet

This picture accurately depicts all the hot items available from the buffet. Had I known this, I wouldn't have got excited when I read the menu promoting a $20 Full Buffet Breakfast! with toast, preserves, fruit loaf, croissants, danishes, english muffins, fruit salad, yoghurt, cereal, bacon, eggs, tomato, hash brown, sausages, baked beans and unlimited tea/coffee/juice.

By no means was it misleading as they did have all the mentioned items, but with quality that can be dramatically improved on. Sadly, everything was mediocre quality and lukewarm at best. And priced at $20, I probably wouldn't even have used the enticing Buy One Get One Free breakfast offer during Eat Drink Perth season.

At least I had fun with their conveyor belt toaster that spits out DIY hot toast and croissants?

Trying to end on a sweet note

I think I set my own personal record of eating the LEAST amount at a buffet. Losing the will to make multiple trips to the buffet table, I tried injecting some sweetness into my breakfast instead but to no avail :(

Despite being one of the first customers of the day, these sweet pastry items do not send out any message of being freshly baked, or even really fresh. They have a slight sign and taste of being stale, and an undesirable softness with dry centre fillings. Good old never-really-fails Banana Muffin was no different with its dry, bland muffin body and overall hardness.

And I have never, ever seen decorations atop muffin tops go hard to such an extent, until now that is. Picking off the bananas and praying they could be swallowed, they boomeranged right out of my mouth. And I wasn't even expecting them to be soft nor sweet! Just like dehydrated, tateless, non-crispy banana chips on my muffin.

I really tried to like everything. I really, really did.

...

Honestly, no more words are needed for this particular experience. It is NOT, however, a be all and end all situation that will blacklist My Place in my books. It is just this one aspect of theirs that is not the best that they offer to their customers, so maybe their forte doesn't lie with buffet breakfasts, but when the place comes alive at later hours towards the evening.

Looking at their promotions, they do attract a decent crowd at night that would be a major transformation to what I saw on an early Saturday morning. It was utterly dead but it could be a different story with a live DJ on Saturdays and karaoke on Friday nights. Mixing alcohol, microphones and music is really a fail-proof cocktail after all.

With quite a large menu and good prices, maybe I will find myself back one day in the far future but judging by the food on this particular experience - I would probably never be back. But judging by their A La Carte breakfast menu, I actually would be back if food is prepared fresh from the kitchen this time round. I would much prefer that I will be waiting for my food, instead of food sitting around in metal pans waiting for me.

And at that hour of morning, it didn't even look like there were staff even working. There was the one staff member who took our payment initially, and no other staff were seen. Ever. Again. Even with our plates stacked high, tables were uncleared for the entire duration. Fine by me, as they didn't have to see my big pile of leftovers until I was far, far away from the premises.

I can't say how the ambiance is in the evening. They seem to say they cater to all but with such a lacklustre interior in the morning, they definitely do not cater to early breakfast goers with even more reason not to get out of bed in the morning. If you are an early bird, stay home for breakfast.
Because your place is probably so much better than My Place. At least in the mornings.

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(08) 9225 6665
Monday - Sunday: 6.30am to late
Kitchen close 9-9.30pm
Open 365 days, no surcharges

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The Classroom

Ah, school. The things that seemed to matter the most back then, just don't seem to matter anymore.

I not so fondly remember clearly my pre-school days, when each new school day meant a whole new day of crying, wailing and hiding in the pantry, thinking that was the solution to escape the wrath of school forever.

Alas, that failed and I ended up being educated.
Thankfully, due to my parents' persistence of dragging me out the door kicking and screaming.


After plonking me at school, things usually got worse. From their hiding spot where they had been observing my every move and watching how I accepted my new foreign surroundings (I didn't), Mum and Dad were forced to come out - when I threw up all over myself.


And while I now appreciate how important an investment into education is, I just wasn't made for school back then. I thought schooling was the worse thing that could happen to anyone.
Who needs to know how to read anyway?
What an ungrateful little brat I was.


And stepping into The Classroom, is really stepping into a classroom.
A place you were in X years ago. Or...quite possibly even XX years ago?

Zucchini Fritters, Cucumber & Feta Whip - $14

After immersing yourself in an environment you most likely won't be in ever again, remembering the days when information sources came in hard copy form in the Britannica encyclopedias lining the shelves, and before the internet became God and made the impossible possible, it's time to sharpen the provided pencils (with the provided sharpeners!) and tick the correct boxes on your Canteen Menu.


$4 iced coffees and chocolates are served in classic metal milkshake canisters in the background, but unfortunately could do with a bit more liquid in them.


Freshly deep fried, the fritters resemble 5 delicious ugly ducklings that taste like beautiful golden swans - rough, scraggly, crunchy golden exteriors with contrasting cheesy and soft innards, with slightly hollow centres that are so imperfect but perfect all at the same time. 

Serrano Jamon, fresh Peach, in-house Ricotta & Balsamic Pearls - $16

 This next plate is a flavour, texture and colour combination that celebrates the marriages of sweet fresh peaches, salty rolled cigars of dry cured Spanish ham with the intense vinegary bursts of Balsamic pearls.


Perhaps good for presentation purposes with the leafy specks of greens, otherwise the flecks of vegetables do little to add taste to the overall mouthful.

A work of art!

The Classroom most likely took and aced some art classes in their time! :-)

Pork Sausage Rolls with Fennel & Apple, Apricot Chutney - $14

Never would i have done or would even consider order sausage rolls at an upmarket bar.
4 mini party sausage rolls for $14? Yeah right! Yes they might be gourmet, but actually worth the $14? NEVER in a million years!


Yet I felt a simultaneous acceptance of this, just how the majority of us accept $15 gourmet burgers over their $4 fast food counterparts. Typically a to-go food, sausage rolls usually lay around in the baine marie getting progressively more tanned and cooked while this version retains a crisp, airy casing wrapping a plump, juicy minced pork filling.


The dipping dish of apricot chutney will be a happy addition to those who fancy the fruity + meat combinations, except I like my meats salty thanks :-)

6 Hour Bourbon Beef Short Ribs, Smoked Salt & Chilli Pineapple Wedges (Large) - $32

This scored unexpectedly surprising top marks in my schoolbooks that one chilly night back at school Such a warm, homey, spectacular chunk of meat that you' typically find basting in your oven at home, but had been slow roasting in The Classroom's oven once upon a time before your visit.


Likened to a slab of tar, it is only the moment it goes in your mouth that you witness such a tender, soft and flavoursome cut of beef, too soft to be true. As expected from short ribs, the fat-to-meat ratio might be a bit high, but all is forgiven with ridiculously good protein.


The jar of thick sauce served with the meat is sweet with a strong smokey taste that accompanies the meat really well, as with the golden smoked pineapple wedges, trickling juices infused with hints of chilli and salt.

Hand-cut Crinkle Chips, Sumac Dusting & Chipotle Aioli - $6

Nothing screams old skool louder or gets kids fatter faster than hot chips served in that recognisable yellow paper cup. Disappointingly, I could resist stuffing my face after my first few as this particular batch were evidently a little dry and sad. Not enough crisp from not enough crinkle nor enough dusting of flavour, but chips are ever changing.

The chipotle aioli however, is a different story. Aioli is a godsend, exactly why I borrowed this for other dishes ordered on the night. I'm known for being a sauce addict, and I don't really need anything to eat with sauce. Who needs chips to eat sauce? Not I.

In the background are glimpses blueberry and mango juices, each bottle priced at $6.50. I guess at that price I assumed a freshly squeezed glass would be served instead of bottled juices. Nevertheless, they are of good quality honest ingredients, blended and bottled.

Chermoula Chicken Drumsticks, Roasted Sweet Potato & Eggplant, Zesty Yoghurt - $17

Simple but well made ingredients go a long, long way. The simplicity of chicken drumsticks take on a Moroccan flavour with crackly skin caramelised with a chermoula marinade, with hints of herbs and garlic. Using the chicken leg is wise, to take full advantage of the succulent tenderness.


Roasted root vegetables are always a winner - sweet potato and eggplant chunks with a refreshing yoghurt ladled over the contents on the plate. It balances out the strong flavour of the chicken with a lighter taste but with that much needed creamy texture.

Feel welcome to perve on some leg

Love a juicy, smooth, sexy leg.

...

A welcome addition to Perth's growing trendy chic bar scene to rival its Eastern counterparts, its interior is nothing short of impressive and much kudos go out to the entrepreneurs who brainstormed up this fresh new concept and the eclectic decor. All the effort contributed to creating this real life time capsule complete with nostalgia, decked with old school artifacts high and low - finger paintings, netball rings and even hopscotch on the ground to skip back to your childhood.


The recycled and new furnishings take on a retro style, a true overload on your sight. The whole place has gone crazy at a Bak2Skool themed dress up party. It IS quite excessive itching on kitsch but you can't help but appreciate the nitty gritty details of the place. I even took an unnecessary trip to the toilet just to check out the proposed Spanish lessons while you do your business. Seriously.

The Classroom presents a small but enticing menu, demonstrating a creative flair by creating a gourmet twist on classic canteen food. Designed to share, the unsubstantial dishes remind you that school always taught you that sharing is caring. The teachers here are referring to the staff (cheesy right! :-)) have limited contact with you because you pay at the bar, assigned a buzzer and collect your order from the kitchen canteen, just like the olden good old days ;)


They are big on cocktails here, ranging from the History cocktails paying tribute to classic cocktails, to the imaginative Art concoctions to the downright trippy Food Science cocktails that comes as a smoking, bubbling or flaming science experiment in a cocktail glass. An eye catching display is their alcoholic storage lockers, doing everything BUT lock up the numerous spirits on offer. THIS classroom is definitely not an alcohol free premises!

It might be the last thing on your mind to go back to school, but if you've gone a little bit older but a lot more wiser, it's good to get down and refresh some faded memories. With a very dark carpark and so appropriately having a sex shop as its neighbour, it is indeed a little bit seedy, yet so perfectly reflecting the whole school thing where everybody is running around on hormone highs.


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(08) 9444 7729
Tuesday - Friday: 4pm to late
Saturday/Sunday: 12pm to late
Monday: Private classes

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